“I miss the days when I had money.” I found myself saying this as I walked out of the grocery store a few days ago. After having spent more money than expected, I began to stress about money and how we were going to maintain over the next few weeks. Over this past weekend, I found myself stressed, restless and feeling the need to just do something different. Simply walking out of the house and going to get ice cream brought me a little bit of peace. Sitting outside with my husband eating ice cream and talking about things completely unrelated to responsibility and adult life gave me what I needed in the moment. It wasn’t until I spent some alone time writing to God that He helped me to realize that I’ve been so caught up in life’s responsibilities that I’ve neglected doing the small things that I used to love doing simply because they make me happy. I daydream about going to a park and having a picnic or driving into the city and taking pictures as if I can’t do those things. I realize that I daydream not because these things aren’t possible but because my mind has become so occupied with “life” that I’ve placed those things in the “luxury” category as opposed to the “necessity” category.
It’s important to be responsible; ie pay bills, take care of taxes, get the car fixed, etc. However, letting those things consume us can lead us into a state of simply existence versus active living. We can often get into this routine of life where all we focus on is what is needed. We need money. We need food. We need a new car. We need to provide for our families.We need time. All of which are true. But. Sometimes what we actually need, is to stop thinking about all that we “need” and instead focus on what we have. My husband and I had a conversation recently about the fact that we’ve spending a lot of time in the house lately. We have both programmed in our minds that because we are low on money, we can’t go anywhere. Even when it comes to going somewhere free, we opt out because we don’t want to use the gas. We won’t go get ice cream because it cost s$3.00 and we may need those $3.00 to contribute to a bill. I can’t get my hair or nails done because we have bills to pay. No matter how much money we may have in our bank account; it’ll never seem like enough because….we have bills to pay. Well. Today I decided that I’m going to start saying F___ THEM BILLS! That doesn’t mean that we won’t pay them; it means that I wont obsess over them anymore. Bills WILL NOT become my life or my daily goal to meet. I will not be living to pay them or restricting myself from going to the park for fear of using a few miles for gas. I’m not going to sit in the dark because I’m afraid of accruing a high light bill. Again, I’m not saying be ignorant about spending or neglect the bills but I am saying that sometimes we obsess over things that quite frankly, we shouldn’t even be concerned about.
Bills are real. But you either have the money to pay them or you don’t. And either way, after you’ve done all you can, you have the choice to decide what you’ll do afterwards. Will you sit and obsess over money spent or decide to go to a park and enjoy the sun. Or spend time with your loved ones. Will you do the thing that brings you joy or sit around and be sad about what you don’t have. “F Them Bills” has been my saving grace over the past week. I’ve had to say it to myself when I begin to get deep in thought about how we’re going to make it through the month or sad that I can’t go get my hair done professionally. “F Them Bills” helps me to create a mindset shift and allows me a new space to think. Now understand, that the “F” in “F Them Bills” can mean whatever you want it to. Whether it means forget or freak or the common expletive associated with that particular letter; the concept is that you refocus your mind in the moments when you begin to worry.
I recognize that there is a balance that we have to find in life and I know that balance isn’t always the easiest thing to obtain. I also know that we were created by a God that desires for us to have peace and joy. He sent His son that we would have life and have it more abundantly. Obsessing over bills and forfeiting freedom is NOT what abundant life looks like. Furthermore, I believe in a God that provides and I know that if HE is telling me to go out and live my life, obviously I have nothing to worry about. So the next time that you begin to restrict your living because you want to save $3.00 or don’t go out because you don’t want to use 5 miles worth of gas consider saying “F Them Bills” and go live your life!