Purple Hair and Polygamy

Truth or Dare?

The question that introduced entertainment to spice up a boring, rainy day among friends. A game to play when there was nothing of substance to occupy ourselves. The perfect instigator for sexual activity and secret spilling between people of the opposite sex. If you were like me ,you chose truth; because it was the easier of the two. The lesser of the two evils. After all, you could always just lie. Dare. The bolder choice. Those that chose dare were the more courageous players. The ones that came to the game with an expectation for some action or a desire for a little edge. Now, at age 26, I still find myself playing a game of truth or dare; often times with myself. For the past couple years, I’ve been raving about my desire for purple hair. I have filled my Pinterest boards with purpled hair natural beauties and even begun to Instagram stalk the hashtag #natrualcoloredhair in hopes to find inspiration for my craving. I added purple hair to the image that I created in my head. The image that I believed reflected my creativity and personality. In my mind, I was a punk chic girl that rocked purple hair and a few face piercings. I could care less about popular opinion and spoke the truth no matter the atmosphere. Yet,for years, that image laid safely in my mind, and my mind only. On the outside, I was afraid to get the purple hair for fear of what others would say about me. A young black woman with purple hair? Surely I would become the target for racial prejudice or deemed of a lower social class because obviously classy girls don’t dye their hair purple right?

After giving birth to my daughter, I began to ask myself “Truth or dare?” Was I going to be the girl that continued to let her truth live in her head only? Or was I going to be bold enough to actually LIVE the truth that I dreamt? Was I bold enough to even acknowledge my truth? Did purple hair land me in the category of the uneducated and classless? Or was I accepting someone else’s truth as my own? How long would I continue to sensor myself for the acceptance of others? Finally, I answered “Dare”; I dyed my hair purple (it took about 3 failed attempts to get it right) and instantly fell in love. Not just with the color, but with the bravery that I displayed in living outside of my own mind.

I have a good friend that believes in the ability to love more than one person romantically at a time. Now I’ll admit, initially, I thought he was a misogynistic crazy person; but over time, I’ve grown to understand his perspective. Don’t get it twisted, I believe that my husband should be loving me and me only but I’ve learned not to despise the thought process of someone else. My friend has candidly expressed his guilt in staying in a relationship that he felt had long expired simply because he felt obligated to. He felt like if he left the relatinship, he would be deemed a terrible person, hated, and in turn be unhappy. Well, he too chose dare and decided that his artistic creativity was driven by the muses that entered his life and inspired him. He realized that at this time in his life, he is better off living the “single” life and choosing to love freely and without boundaries or strings.

Why am I sharing this? Am I advocating for polygamy? No. I’m sharing that my friend and I both had a desired way of life just resting in our heads. We both believed in a reality that we were afraid to live out due to the opinions of others and the assumption that we were both just crazy. And maybe we are. But I can say that I’m so happy with my purple hair and he is happier being free from obligation. What desires are you keeping in your head? What lifestyle do you desire to live but refrain from because of the opinions of others? Granted, not all desires are good. Not all desires are God and not all desires are profitable. However, there are some, that we keep buried deep within because we’re afraid to look crazy. I totally understand. But I’m learning to choose to be true to myself by daring to live the reality that I’ve kept living in my head. I dare you to do the same. So…truth or dare?

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