Things have felt a bit hazy lately, like heavy fog that floats in front of your car as you drive out on a misty morning. It’s hard to see past it, but you just keep driving because well, you have somewhere to be.
I didn’t realize how foggy things were until I got a notification on my phone reminding me I had a doctors appointment this week. I couldn’t remember scheduling the appointment or what the appointment was for and I didn’t have the energy to find out. I just went. I walked to the counter and when the receptionist said “you’re here for your annual?” I said, “yea, sure.”
For the last year, my husband (known henceforth as X) and I have been trying to buy a house. Trying meaning, going through all of our paperwork, setting up our incorporation, filling our taxes, paying ourselves — doing a bunch of tedious yet necessary things. It seemed every time we’d meet with our accountant (who is also my father), there would be just one more thing we’d need to do before we could move ahead to the next step.
After my doctor’s appointment, I had what was supposed to be a final meeting with my father to file our taxes and get our Pre approval letter. After reviewing our paperwork again (for the literal 20th time), he gave us yet another assignment and said, “If this doesn’t work, we may have to wait another year.”
Fueling in disappointment and frustration, I expressed to X that it might be time to pray about our next steps because things were getting weird. He agreed and last night, we snuggled up in our bed to listen; and this is what I felt: give it time to settle.
Sometimes, we have these days, weeks, or months even, when things feel foggy. Unclear. Uncertain. In that uncertainty, we may try to bulldoze our way through or force our way towards that thing we want but no matter how much we keep trying, it just feels… hopeless.
The lesson I’m learning (literally, today) is that in the midst of the fog, we have to slow down and give ourselves time to see the truth. There are a million other things in my life that have felt really unclear and right now I’m feeling a huge invitation to relax and let the mist settle.
So that is my word to myself and you this week. And if this doesn’t apply to you right now, I hope you’ll keep it in your back pocket and me in your prayers!
I’ll be doing some reshuffling soon and I’ll keep you posted on some things I’m doing. Til then, you can always join my Patreon to support my creative work, and receive exclusive stories and other things I create.
Until next time.