So, on July 31, 2013, two months and 14 days after I married the most amazing man i’ve ever met, I am ready to share my newlywed thoughts, experiences, and realizations! (DUN DUN DUN!!) Hehe, just kidding. As i reflected on this topic, I thought to categorize our experiences into three different sections: The good, the better, and the best.
Waking up next to my husband in a beautiful hotel room in the Twelve Hotel the morning after walking down the aisle,. The curtains were drawn to the sides, leaving the 10 foot windows open to reveal the city we call home. Looking out of the window at Atlanta’s huge billboards and busy streets wondering if it was all just a dream. Realizing that the rose petals, and music were still alive and had survived the night. The clock told us that it was 8am yet we were both wide eyed and ready for what the day had for us. I looked at my rings, then at my reception dress hanging in the bathroom, then over at the handsome specimen God blessed me with; yes, it was real.
Walking into our new space that we could both call home. Having to remind myself that I didn’t have to go to ‘my house’ at the end of the day, what’s mine was now his. Thanks to his family staying in our new apartment the week of the wedding, everything was arranged in a particular place and our bedroom was set and ready for us to lay our heads. This place, was OURS.
Stepping off of a plane in Montego Bay, Jamaica with an excitement and oblivion to what would happen there. We made a friend on the plane that was generous enough to see that we were able to get to our hotel with no problems. When we walked out from customs there was Raymond standing there waiting on us with a sign that read “The Brandy’s”. Naturally, with our last name being Brandon, we walked right past him but he called us out after recognizing X from the description that our new friend had given him. Once we got settled into our hotel, we ventured out to see what it offered. Unlimited drinks, great food, the beach, a friendly resort staff, tubing, zip lining, sunshine, and lots of love making made our honeymoon greater than anything I could have ever imagined. Stepping back into the ‘real’ world was hard but it was time to walk the journey of being murried (yes, murried!!)
Clearing out the house in order to feel as if we’re actually getting settled in. Though my in laws left the house very neatly arranged, having bins and boxes around the home made me feel uncomfortable every time i walked in the door. So i began to move bins onto the porch (we weren’t blessed with much storage) and create unique ways to hang, stuff, and store all of the things that we had brought from our individual homes. Having short debates about my clothes being on his side of the closet. Hearing him ask me why i moved the soap from the top soap holder to the bottom. The repetitive nights where I would wake up with my body completely uncovered because my husband has gathered the comforter around his legs, over his shoulder and under his arms. Figuring out where to put the air so that he’s not freezing and i’m not running to the bathroom to stop a nosebleed. Cleaning up every ten minutes because i want to be prepared for the one time that people decide to drop by unexpectedly. I can’t live in disorganization and he can. I hate laundry and he’s great at it, he will watch shoot em up bang bang movies all night and i won’t.
Spending two hours walking down the aisles of the grocery store for our monthly shopping trip. We have yet to arrange a weekly or biweekly trip, simply because we don’t realize that its time to go shopping until there is NOTHING to eat in the house. I’ll pick up the cherry frosted pop tarts to put into the cart and he’ll pick up the strudel-esque type. Then we’ll look at each other and have a staredown for which one we take home; or we’ll compromise and get both. He wants his own carton of vanilla ice cream and i’d rather share. He needs popcorn in his life; i can go without. We always end up with half of the food items I want, half that he wants and a few items that we just chose because we felt like we needed to. The beautiful thing about grocery shopping is that we can both agree on the 10 for $10 minute maid juice!
Hearing him tell others a story or two that i’ve NEVER heard in the three years that i’ve known him. One night we lay in bed conversing over a touchy subject, our conversation turned to arguing and we both spoke with unfamiliar intensity. Learning the way that he likes his pb&j sandwiches. Every now and then he will catch me doing a dance in the mirror that i only do when i forget that i’m not alone. He has to endure my shower concerts and I get to walk in to his amp blasting Lecrae, J. Cole or any other dope rap artist. Knowing when it’s ok to separate and get some alone time. Those impromptu love sessions before work or after church.
Being open and completely honest with him in the moments where i’d rather shut down and move on. Showing him who I really am when my exterior contradicts my internal feelings and thoughts. Admitting when I’m wrong and meeting a warm acceptance as opposed to a brash rebuke. Having a cheerleader in my corner no matter how badly i suck. Being able to encourage an amazing man to be exactly who he was created to be. Seeing his faults, traditions, and habits while loving him through all of it. Being treated like a queen even when i’m acting like a …peasant. Being a true HELPMEET for him…daily. Answering the question of “babe, have you seen my ____” about 23 times a day. And yes, i still have this recurring thought: “oh shoot, i’m really married!”
Driving to work with my husband on the other end of my phone praying with me every morning. Knowing that i can trust him because he is following God, our savior, our guide, our Father. Supporting him whether he is writing music or a sermon. Traveling out of town with him to serve in ministry. Knowing that our marriage has a purpose and no man in their minute power could ever destroy that. Discovering our purpose together and planning what our lives will look like years later. Walking on water with my best friend. Serving Christ with a warrior. Helping others simply by exuding love. Creating a divine and blessed atmosphere with our words and our home. Knowing that ministry is in our blood and will flow from everything we produce. This is an individual experience intertwined with a united journey. But most of all…we know that the best, is yet, to come.
And in case you weren’t sure, I absolutely LOVE being married.
4 thoughts on “Newlywed: The Good, The Better, & The Best”
Thank you for this, I am not married yet but I have been in love with my best friend for 4 years and he not yet asked the question that I long to hear. Your words were encouraging and made me think about my future with, if there is a future.
Your welcome! Marriage is so beautiful in it’s time! I remember when I was waiting to hear that question but ill admit it came in the perfect time. Evaluate where you are and only you can determine if there is a future there! If you KNOW that there is, trust that it will come in it’s time!
I love this!!! I have been married now for exactly 14days!!!! 🙂 Its all so new and strange and amazing! Adjusting is the one thing that no one can prepare you for!
Congratulations!! Yes ma’am! You’re right, it’s a journey that you learn how to navigate as you go! Best wishes to you!