When You Wake Up

When Living A Lie Is No Longer An Option 

Have you ever had a moment where you woke up to the truth of something and you couldn’t, even if you tried, go back to the way things used to be? 

Many of us can relate to this. Living the life someone else want for us, instead of the life we want for ourselves. Living a life to please those around us even though it’s slowly killing us inside. Living a life blind to our potential, or blind to our actions that have held us back for years — possibly even blaming others for our own setbacks? 

If you’ve ever experienced this in life — this is for you. And if you have not yet experienced it but it peaks your interest, this is also for you. 

One of my favorite movies of the 20th century is Beyond The Lights (written and directed by the great Gina Prynce-Bythewood).

The movie begins with the main character, Noni, winning her first award as a recording artist. She’s dressed in a gold bra and a short skirt — a purple sew in cascades down her back. She is the “it” girl. 

She celebrates her win by downing half a bottle of champagne in the sprinter van on the way back to her hotel. When she reaches the hotel room, she tells the police officer guarding her door not to let anyone in as she closes the door behind her.

Within minutes, we hear a shriek and find Noni sitting on the edge of a hotel balcony, tears streaming down her face. She turns around to see the police officer moving slowly behind her. By his request, she turns to look at him. With fatigue in her eyes, she says “You still can’t see me.” 

She begins to lean forward and the officer lunges towards her, grabs her hand, and holds her so that she doesn’t fall. He blurts out “I see you” in desperation, which prompts her to open her eyes. 

After pulling her back up to safety, they sit and stare at each other for what feels like several minutes before her mother interrupts and drags Noni inside.

From that point on, we see Noni struggle to continue living a life she does not love as her new awakening invites her to choose a life she does not know. 

Beyond The Lights shows us that sometimes, we’re asleep to our own abilities to change our lives and it takes one specific moment to show us that something has to change or else nothing will.

Dreaming is considered an altered state of consciousness, meaning it’s a temporary change in one’s conscious experience that differs significantly from the typical waking state.hen you wake up from a dream, your brain activity shifts back to a more wakeful state, allowing you to become conscious of your surroundings and regain full control over your body.

Essentially, the brain transitions from a state of heightened, alternate consciousness to a more focused and coordinated pattern associated with wakefulness.

We often use the word dreaming to refer to aspirations beyond the present. Or we use it in it’s literal form — being physically asleep. But what if, for the purposes of this conversation, we use dreaming to describe the state you’re in when you aren’t living your truth? 

We’ve all had dreams that we can’t stop thinking about after we wake up. Dreams that maybe, felt real or even foreshadowing. 

When you wake up from that dream, you can feel a little discombobulated. You can need a moment to reorient yourself and adjust to reality. 

I think, that’s how it feels when you wake up to a truth you’ve been hiding from — or a truth that has been hiding from you. 

And it may not even be a lie that you’re living. It could be about standing up for yourself, or acknowledging that something isn’t working for you anymore when everyone around you would rather see you live the life convenient for them.

And you’re scared about it. And you wonder if it’s okay that this thing isn’t working for you anymore. 

Beyond The Lights is a lesson in bravery, truth, sacrifice, and dominion. It teaches us that not only is it okay, it’s your right to have dominion over your body, your choices, and your truth.

[My most recent wake up moment was when] This idea of waking up has been heavy on my mind lately. I recently joined an accelerator program to write a book. After the second session, I realized that for the past 5 years of my life when I said I was writing a book — I was really thinking about writing a book.

The truth humbled me but it also served as an opportunity to change. Now that I know what it really means to be consistent, I can’t go back to the way I used to operate. I have to either make space for the truth, or knowingly continue to live a lie. 

Like Noni, I had to wrestle with being illuminated to the truth and choosing what I was going to do about it. 

It’s like a scary dream that jolts you out of our your sleep. It’s the moment you realize something has to change — even if you aren’t sure what it is or how to change it.

There is a scene in Beyond The Lights where Noni realizes that the thing she has hated about her life can only be changed by her and her alone. She is standing in the kitchen with her mom after a huge argument, and takes a stand for what she actually wants. 

She puts action to her acknowledgement. She is awake. 

While there is a powerful shift that happens when you choose to face the truth, there is also a grieving that happens when you realize the world of consciousness you were living in before.Depending on the situation, you may miss being in an altered “dream” state. You may even wish you didn’t know the truth now. 

You’re faced with a decision to stay, be uncomfortable, and settle into a new reality. 

It’s like when you finally see the light, every single thing about your reality changes — shifts. What was before is no more. What you believed before, you no longer believe. What you once saw, you see completely differently.And if you do decide to go back, you know you’re willingly choosing to live a lie.

If you haven’t woken up yet — it’s okay. When you do, expect to be both extremely uncomfortable and really clear. You may not know what the next steps are but you do know, you have to go forward. 

Scraps 

It’s like a scary dream that jolts you out of our your sleep. It’s the moment you realize something has to change — even if you aren’t sure what it is or how to change it

I can’t go back to the way I used to live. I’m awake now — and If I go back, I’ll be knowingly going back to living a lie.

Two years ago, I was really depressed about my weight. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and my clothes weren’t too hapy about it either — being stretched here and there while I tried to get them to fit me comforatbly.

I made a decision that I was going to stop being inconcisstent with my workouts and I was going to commit to working out every single week, 5 days a week, for an entire year. I did this for two yearts straight, and now I’m on year 3.

Within those two years, I realized that when I was saying I’d been trying to lose weight, I really hadn’t been. I had been half trying and pretentding that I was giving my all.

And for most of us, once you wake up — it’s really difficult to go back to sleep.

We often use the word dreaming to refer to aspirations beyond the present. Or we use it in its literal form — being physically asleep. But what if, for the purposes of this conversation, we use dreaming to describe the state you’re in when you aren’t living your truth?

We’ve all had dreams where we wake up feeling a little discombobulated and you need a moment to reorient yourself and adjust to reality. I think that’s how it feels when you wake up to a truth you’ve been hiding from — or a truth that has been hiding from you.

It may not even be a lie that you’re living. It could be about standing up for yourself, or acknowledging that something isn’t working for you anymore when everyone around you would rather see you live the life convenient for them.

You may be scared about it. And wonder if it’s okay that this thing isn’t working for you anymore.

Beyond The Lights teaches us that not only is it okay, it’s your right to have dominion over your body, your choices, and your truth.