Five Ways To Practice Freedom

When I was on a journey of finding myself a few years ago, I began “practicing freedom” out of a desire to make big leaps and authentic decisions. “I want to be free,” is what I told my therapist when she asked me what I wanted her help with.

With therapy and practice, I started to take advantage of little moments of freedom so I could build the muscle of being free. I didn’t know what it meant at the time or what I was really looking for but I knew that in order to feel free, I had to start practicing.

It started with little self dates to the park. My norm was to feel unworthy of free time. I would feel guilty for going to the park on my own and enjoying the sunshine. I would feel like I hadn’t earned it or I’d feel as if there was something else I could be doing with that time. I slowly stopped listening to that voice and instead I started listening to the voice that said “Do it.” I talked less about what I was going to do, and I just started…doing it.

If we want to feel free in life, we have to create that freedom by making the decision to do the free thing.

And I want to specify here that freedom doesn’t mean lack of control. Freedom is about the power to choose and be content in your choices. Freedom is listening to your soul.

It starts with awareness.

You’ve probably heard the phrase, the first step to solving a problem is to be aware that you have one.

In order to find freedom, we have to start paying attention to the ways we deny ourselves freedom. Even in little ways.

Once we make ourselves aware of the ways we deny ourselves freedom, we can start making strides to change that. Observe your own behavior. Keep a mental note of it, write it down, or talk to someone about it. Track your habits without judging yourself. Just observe.

Then you have to define what freedom means to you.

Freedom is sitting on the balcony of your home to work instead of staying inside. Freedom is taking a new way home versus the way you always take. Freedom is telling yourself yes to simple pleasures in order to build your tolerance to bigger blessings down the line.

Freedom is doing the thing you want to do versus the thing you should do. Instead of restricting yourself based on the idea that you can’t, you could start asking yourself “why can’t I?”

And if you’re more of a practical person, here are a few things to try:

1. Spend time alone without distractions. Many of us spend time alone, but we often do it with distractions. The TV is on, we’re reading a book, or we’re on our phones. As often as possible, try spending at least 30 minutes alone. In that time, check in with yourself. Ask yourself if you’re okay. What do you need? What are you lacking? How do you feel? This literally gives you time to connect with yourself.
2. Make a list of things that make you feel free. Small things. Tangible things you could do tomorrow. Go to a specific store or restaurant. Grab your favorite ice cream. Spend a day watching movies. Fly a kite. Make homemade pasta. Idk what your thing is but if you can’t identify what things would make you feel free, write a list of things you’d love to do one day.
3. Create a routine to do one of those things every so often, you choose the frequency. Once a week. Every other day. On the weekends. Every month. Up to you. Choose just one thing that you want to incorporate into your life, and do it consistently. Give yourself a time limit if that helps. For ex: I’m going to take a walk once a week, every week, for a month.
4. When you have the opportunity, tell the truth. If someone asks you if you want to go out and you don’t want to go, say “ no, I’d like to stay in today.” If someone asks if you want something, and you do, say you want it. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do this often.
5. Set aside time for play. I used to meet with a friend every week to co-work. Once we were finished for the day, we went to the bookstore and then to Cava. We’d talk, laugh, and tell stories. These days, play looks like going to the park to work or dancing in my room.
6. Make decisions. I know this sounds dumb because we make decisions all day. But some of us live in a state of perpetual confusion about what we should or should not be doing. Practice making concrete decisions and not letting yourself linger too long. Go with your gut, listen to yourself, and decide based on what you think is right — no matter how big or small.

If we don’t practice freedom, we won’t be free.

It’s not like a light switch. It’s a muscle you have to build. It’s a discipline; and it helps to start small.

Chang your habits. Challenge your thinking. Alter your awareness and shift your perspective. Just like anything else, with consistency and wisdom, you’ll see progress.

And one day, you’ll wake up feeling

F R E E.

If you still need more help, my book 100 Questions for the Soul could help you get started. It’s a book filled with questions to ask yourself in your alone time or when you’re getting to know others. Questions like “When was the last time you felt free” or “Does it have to be this way” will give you answers that can only come from you.